久々に、相方の家族が住んでいるアメリカのインディアナポリスに行って来ました。
今回で２回目の訪問。
夫婦となってからは、初訪問。
２０時間ぐらいかけてベルギーから行ったのに今回のステイは５泊とすごく短く。
しかも最後の日には２回も二人で作った作品の公演だったのでスケジュールも忙しくって相方家族には申し訳ない・・・
6才となった義理の甥っ子ウィルソンは元気で元気でついていくのが大変でした・・・（苦笑）
つねに鬼ごっこをしたいらしく、You can't get me!! Come and get me!! を繰り返す。
すごいなー子供のパワーは。
そんなウィルソンは今回補助輪無しで自転車が乗れるように!!
しかも私が助けている時に。
相方が補助輪のない自転車を直してくれたので、乗ってみる? と自転車を支えてあげてると、またがった後 You can let it go now!! と言うので放したら、それが初補助輪無しの自転車乗りだったらしく!!!
びっくり。
パパの所では乗ったことがあったのかな？
それともホントに初?!
すごーい子供パワー。
そんななんでも、やっぱり自分がママになれる自信ないなぁ・・・
気が付いたら前のブログから軽く１－２年過ぎてる・・・
のでとりあえず？ アップデート。
順番は関係なくリストアップ。
☆婚約した。
☆結婚した。
☆相方がアパートを買った。
☆買ったアパートを大改造した。
☆３０代に入った。
☆ベルギーのゲントからブリュッセルに移った。（あ？これは前回の日記後だったかも）
☆相方とデュエット作品を作って公演した。
ん～おっきな事だとその位かな?
結婚したことが一番大きいかもしれない、が今だイマイチ実感沸かず。
結婚ってこれから一生一緒にいようねって約束なんだよね。
それってすごいよね。
（ってしておいて今更だけど)
なんだかその約束事に甘えすぎないように、これからも相方さんとは良い関係を持っていきたいなぁと思うこのごろ。
・・・もうすでに相手の好意に甘えてるのかもしれない。笑
その次におっきな事は、３０代になったこと。
なんだか自分が少し古くなった気がする。
肌の感じとか、体質の変化とか、若い１０代２０代前半の人を見て青いなぁって思ったりとか。笑
その感じに負けずに新鮮な気持ちを持っていきたい！
いくつになってもイキイキとしたエネルギーを持った人でいたい。
おばあちゃんになってまぁるいエネルギーになってもイキイキしていたい。
そんなことを想うこの頃。
のでとりあえず？ アップデート。
順番は関係なくリストアップ。
☆婚約した。
☆結婚した。
☆相方がアパートを買った。
☆買ったアパートを大改造した。
☆３０代に入った。
☆ベルギーのゲントからブリュッセルに移った。（あ？これは前回の日記後だったかも）
☆相方とデュエット作品を作って公演した。
ん～おっきな事だとその位かな?
結婚したことが一番大きいかもしれない、が今だイマイチ実感沸かず。
結婚ってこれから一生一緒にいようねって約束なんだよね。
それってすごいよね。
（ってしておいて今更だけど)
なんだかその約束事に甘えすぎないように、これからも相方さんとは良い関係を持っていきたいなぁと思うこのごろ。
・・・もうすでに相手の好意に甘えてるのかもしれない。笑
その次におっきな事は、３０代になったこと。
なんだか自分が少し古くなった気がする。
肌の感じとか、体質の変化とか、若い１０代２０代前半の人を見て青いなぁって思ったりとか。笑
その感じに負けずに新鮮な気持ちを持っていきたい！
いくつになってもイキイキとしたエネルギーを持った人でいたい。
おばあちゃんになってまぁるいエネルギーになってもイキイキしていたい。
そんなことを想うこの頃。
Keeping my heart from sneezing
Keeping my breath from escaping
Keeping my thoughts from flipping out
Keeping my mind from buzzing burning bombarding
Anything can blow this away at any moment
Being afraid of loosing everything
Being obsessed about not loosing
Life is not a game, but surely love can seem like a game and life can seem to be about love.
I want to run to you with all my desire
I am about to break, clack like ice cubes.
I close my eyes tight
Count my breath 1 to 50
Try to think of primal numbers
2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31…
Try to feel my eye lashes on the edges of my eyes
Somebody singing behind my ears,
Forget about your house of cards
And I’ll do mine
Forget about your house of cards
And I’ll do mine
No matter how it ends
No matter how it starts
Things that start always come with an end.
One takes life, looses life.
So I might as well enjoy the fragile risky house of cards
And fall off the table, get swept under
Keeping my breath from escaping
Keeping my thoughts from flipping out
Keeping my mind from buzzing burning bombarding
Anything can blow this away at any moment
Being afraid of loosing everything
Being obsessed about not loosing
Life is not a game, but surely love can seem like a game and life can seem to be about love.
I want to run to you with all my desire
I am about to break, clack like ice cubes.
I close my eyes tight
Count my breath 1 to 50
Try to think of primal numbers
2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31…
Try to feel my eye lashes on the edges of my eyes
Somebody singing behind my ears,
Forget about your house of cards
And I’ll do mine
Forget about your house of cards
And I’ll do mine
No matter how it ends
No matter how it starts
Things that start always come with an end.
One takes life, looses life.
So I might as well enjoy the fragile risky house of cards
And fall off the table, get swept under
Charlie Chaplin on his 70th Birthday Speech
As I Began to Love Myself
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is "AUTHENTICITY".
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me.
Today, I call it "RESPECT".
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today, I call it "MATURITY".
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm.
Today, I call it "SELF-CONFIDENCE".
As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm.
Today, I call it "SIMPLICITY".
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health - food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself.
At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
Today, I know it is "LOVE OF ONESELF".
As I began to love myself I quit trying to be always be right, and ever since, I was wrong less of the time.
Today I discovered that is "MODESTY".
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening.
Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it "FULFILLMENT".
As I began to love myself, I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally.
Today I call this connection "WISDOM OF THE HEART".
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born.
Today I know THAT IS "LIFE"!
As I Began to Love Myself
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is "AUTHENTICITY".
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me.
Today, I call it "RESPECT".
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today, I call it "MATURITY".
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm.
Today, I call it "SELF-CONFIDENCE".
As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm.
Today, I call it "SIMPLICITY".
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health - food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself.
At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
Today, I know it is "LOVE OF ONESELF".
As I began to love myself I quit trying to be always be right, and ever since, I was wrong less of the time.
Today I discovered that is "MODESTY".
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening.
Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it "FULFILLMENT".
As I began to love myself, I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally.
Today I call this connection "WISDOM OF THE HEART".
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born.
Today I know THAT IS "LIFE"!
ソックドール作ってみた。
