Operation tomorrow

Boy, is my mind unstable, and unconfident at all. Couldn't I ignore them. Those believe in their work, and more over putting trust in their belief.
I learned a lot about cellular network realities yesterday on.

'the work'

In physics, the work is not energy, nor kinetic energy, but the change in kinetic energy. All measured in joules, though.
Definitely not potential energy or a change in that, I didn't realize until today.

When I feel inept unworthy of earning money or keeping on living

I live on of course as contrary to what my father decided to do long ago.
No more grumbling as from tomorrow for couple of weeks I'm off the usual world spending time in hospital with a surgery only interrupting my uneventful days there.

To me Mar 2019

If you want a bargain smartphone product, go no other than ntt.com OCN mobile one spring sale.
They sell popular product at a low price.

I feel like goofing off taking afternoon off after talking to the doctor about the operation in coming week, because I could've gone back to office for a couple of hours of work to get ahead with my work instead of tomorrow.
Maybe I'm at the verge of a nervous breakdown as I have been feeling like that for while. I can let go of my work duty, and it's hard to think without coming to think of what I have to do next to go ahead with the work, or what I have done poorly at the work that day or the day before. That makes my sleep poor and that makes me dull in turn.
In other words, I feel guilty when I'm not doing my work when there's still something I can do. Is this just I have a normal sense of responsibility, or, as I said, I'm on the verge of getting into a state of mind that is not healthy.
I have to be bold and survive this, overcoming the uneasiness, get used to living with a certain level of stress.

Lagrangian on , Hamiltonian on

Think like this. A Hamiltonian is a function that eats a Lagrangian bundle ( vector), and spits out a scalar ( mass) field.

Spring equinox

I should keep an diary to express and be honest to myself somewhere in my daily life.
This way, I don't have to pretend anything. It's not that I'm hiding something from my family, especially my wife since now we have two of us to ourselves in this new house. No more does it matters what my son is spending his day, nor any other acquaintance of ours. Just two of us, and oops, our dog. It's just that you don't tell your wife, I'm concerned about your mental well being and pay attention to her telltale signs.
Another thing is that, I'm not good emotionally now, and I need to make it a habit to write in English, and do it strong. Otherwise, I may have fair chance of break down soon or later. I should keep writing during my stay at the hospital from next week, for sure.

Every day is another day

No other day did I feel, today is nothing like yesterday, and tomorrow will be entirely another day.
I was at the bottom of my soul just yesterday. I didn't fit to my work place. I didn't feel well. I'm a sick
man with disability, though it's temporary, and I'm going to be operated next Monday to be back to
live normal life, and this didn't cheer me up at all, as my day life was a mess.

See what I am today. I feel fine, as I talk frankly with my supervisor and it turned out to be fine—nothing to
worry about the prospect of the project before my admission to the hospital for the surgery, or after.
And when I got home, guess what I found out. Last week I received a cash back for FTTH provider I switched
last fall as we moved to our new house, $150. I got another $300 from them today, and that's not all.
The pension office refunds $165 for duplicate payment of my son's pension fund, so that's our money
from the first place, but the tax office processed my refund request as paid hefty hospital bills last
year to be redacted from my earnings last year resulting in $210 refund. That's $675 in total.